There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
