some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
BRING THE BAGELS
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
