So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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