Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
she peed on how many people?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
