i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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