My hand turned me down
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
