And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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