He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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