I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
