found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
