question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
