My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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