Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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