Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Found the puke drawer
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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