Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
