no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
