It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
