...so i touched it.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
oh god was she eating orange peels again
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
