What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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