Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
