Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
