My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
