That's intense
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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