i was born a porn star she said
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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