dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
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