I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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