go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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