I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize