did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
