you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
