already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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