marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
