Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
