Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
