My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife š¬
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being āgoodā and 10 being ābanging a studentās fatherā, how bad is it that Iām banging a studentās father?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
