If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize