making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
