dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
im holly from the hills drunk
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What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
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As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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