Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
