I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
