I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
