Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
