chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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