What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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