Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
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I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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