I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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