I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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