Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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