He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
