Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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