i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
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You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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