You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
