it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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