Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
She tied me up with her honor cords...
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
