smell my finger.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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