Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
