But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
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12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
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Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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