Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
There's always time for handjobs
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
