So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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