i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I could fuck to npr.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Randomize
