I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
