Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
