so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Your penis caused this!
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