Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
